Although Im much better than I utilized to be, Im a bit of a control freak. I often use perfectly great energy attempting to strategy, anticipate, and prevent things that I can not perhaps plan, anticipate, or avoid.
I wonder if my child is going to get a proper nap when we take a trip and, if not, simply how crabby she might be. I believe through her travel and napping patterns, trying to find out precisely what were up versus, as if her sleep is something I can control.
Like most humans I know, I invest a lot of time in company thats not mine. The infants business, my friends service, Mother Natures organization.
When I provide up control– when I enable them to take place rather of making them take place, Ive seen that things go much more efficiently. Im dreadful at this.
I also consider the weather condition a lot when out-of-town guests are checking out. I spend my already-limited time preparing for each possible weather/mood mix when considering our itinerary.
~ Steve Maraboli
As a recovering control freak, there are three things I know for sure about trying to manage things:
1. Since of what we think will occur if we dont, we try to manage things.
In other words, control is rooted in worry.
2. Control is an outcome of being attached to a particular result– a result were sure is best for us, as if we always know whats best.
We do not require to micromanage the universe when we trust that were all right no matter what scenarios come our method. We released. And we open ourselves to all sorts of fantastic possibilities that arent there when were connected to one “right” path.
3. The energy of surrender achieves much more than the energy of control.
In surrender mode, Im calm, peaceful. Breathing deeply, present in the minute. I see plainly and my vision extends out around me, enabling me to (literally) see the bigger photo.
I suspect its slightly different for everybody, but heres what control mode looks like for me: My vision gets extremely narrow and focused, my breath is shallow, adrenaline is pumping and my heart rate increases.
The fantastic irony is that trying to control things really feels less in control. When Im micro-managing and obsessing over details, I understand Im in my own method.
My mind shifts from topic to subject and from past to future extremely quickly, and I have little concentration, bad memory, and practically no present-moment awareness.
The Art of Surrender
Its not about inaction. Its about acting from that place of surrender energy.
Give up = Complete approval of what is + Faith that all is well, even without my input.
Surrender literally means to stop fighting. Stop combating with yourself. Stop combating deep space and the natural circulation of things. Stop pressing and withstanding versus reality.
If releasing control and giving up not just feel much better, however in fact produce better outcomes, then how do we do that?
Sometimes its as simple as observing that youre in control mode and picking to let go– purposely and deliberately moving into surrender energy.
Its a battle. Thats what control mode feels like to me.
When I pick to let give up and go, I envision the boat turning around, me dropping the oars, and drifting downstream.
Im being gently pulled, no effort needed on my part. Just breathing and stating, “Let go of the oars” is generally sufficient to get me there.
In some cases its a little harder to make the shift from control to surrender. Here are a couple of concerns that can help:
1. What am I scared will take place if I let go of control?
Question its validity when you pinpoint the worry. Ask yourself, Is it true? If youre afraid the night will be destroyed if your partner does not keep in mind to get eggplant (and youve already reminded him fourteen times), concern that assumption.
Can you really know the night would be ruined without the eggplant? And if it would be destroyed (by your definition, anyway), whats so bad about that?
2. Find out whose company youre in.
Your company is the realm of things that you can directly influence. Are you there? Or are you in somebody elses service? When were trying to manage things beyond our own business, its not going to work out.
3. Consider this: Would releasing seem like liberty?
It generally would. Let that feeling of liberty guide you toward loosening your grip.
A Friendly Universe
Your company is the realm of things that you can straight affect. When were attempting to control things outside of our own business, its not going to go well.
Einstein said, “The most crucial decision we make is whether our company believe we live in a hostile or friendly universe.”
I think in a friendly universe.
Being receptive and permitting things to happen is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. It helps to think in a friendly universe– one that is supporting you at every turn so that you do not have to stress yourself over the information.
We let go. Stop combating the universe and the natural circulation of things. Thats what control mode feels like to me.
We can always pick to do things the hard method or the easy method. We can muscle through, or we can let go of the oars and let the present bring us downstream.
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There is a serene, yet focused energy that accompanies holding the intent of what I desire, however not forcing myself to do it. That energy is magic. Im still an operate in development, however Im enabling it to become a practice instead of making it a practice.