The Freedom of Being Ourselves (Whether Others Like Us or Not)

To fight my feelings of anxiety, I typically resort to taking off. The very act of putting one foot in front of the other relieves my distressing soul, instilling me with renewed perspective. So thats what I did, the day I believed I shared too much: I went for a walk.

After striking “post” on my highly emotive Instagram video– among those more-than-one-minute jobbies that end up on Instagram TELEVISION– I closed the app and had a brief minute of panic. Maybe I said too much? Possibly I screwed myself by being too truthful? Too open? Too … susceptible?

A couple of hours after sharing that five-minute, tear-filled video on not quiting on our dreams, I still didnt have the courage to log back in to see the number of followers I d lost. Or to even erase the important things, since that would likewise need logging back in. I pressed on with my day and chastised myself for this classic case of Sam Oversharing.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is currently taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde

” Cringey” is what my kids called it. Me? I was simply being Sam.

Dammit. When will I find out?

And as is frequently the case, I began to see things a little bit more clearly after asking myself three questions:

1. What were my objectives in sharing the video?

2. Did I have something informative and genuine to provide?

3. Why did it matter what anyone else believed?

About Samantha Plavins.

Part of the factor I left my profession last January was this deep yearning I felt to live unapologetically. As myself.

I used to view this as selfish. What Ive found out is Im not doing anybody any favors if I show up cranky for something I really do not desire to be at. Because Im a terrible faker– lets include that to the list of why I am the method I am.

I think this is what everyone wants: freedom. If we are fortunate to reside in a world where we can appear as ourselves, that is a gift. For sure, not everyone has access to it. Some live in a world where they should conceal their beliefs, their gender identities, dilute their dreams or worse, battle through atrocities the similarity which we have nary a principle.

That time I believed the pet was missing however had actually simply forgotten him in the automobile after he accompanied me on a midnight procurement journey for unhealthy food. Shared it.

Now, if I do not feel like Zoom-zoom-zooming, Im more empowered to simply state it like it is. We do not want individuals to see behind the drapes … The unclean dishes scattered everywhere (check).

Because accepting that my unfiltered ways are simply me, Ive felt unsurpassed flexibility. The individuals who understand me are the individuals who are still here. I do not need everyone and their damn canine to like me.

Look, it isnt the first time Ive put myself and all my weirdness on display. Ive a long history of posting about my Gong Show life and consequently surviving the fallout.

Over this in 2015, nevertheless, Ive discovered an incredible shift in what matters to me. Now unencumbered, Im exploring my real self without any muzzle or handcuffs.

Turns out, there was something printed after all, I just didnt see it. If I desire to submit a piece Ive written and state how I really feel, Im going to do that. If I want to dive deep into my creativity to see where it leads, I will.

Which has actually led to a sensation of freedom Im recently starting to taste.

Its not that I dont value growth. As long as were human, we will constantly pursue improvement. But there isnt anybody else in the whole wide world like us. Everybody else is already taken. Therein is our own variation of a superpower: an essence of what we can contribute due to the fact that we are ourselves, not in spite of it.

The answer to those 3 concerns all circled around back to one simple fact: I was just being myself. Thats it..

That time I was trapped in my new boots at the Toronto airport, pulling on a damaged zipper while holding up the line as exasperated travelers sought to help pull them off. I discussed it.

Sam Plavins is a Gen-x mom, better half, traveler, writer, and chronic over-sharer. In 2019, she hiked 800-km throughout Northern Spain and had the surprise that her career in financing was eliminating her. She decided to stroll a brand-new path, launching She Walks the Walk to assist ladies like her lead more genuine, inspired lives. She wants you off societys treadmill, or at the extremely least to question it! Find her at, Instagram, YouTube, or her travel blog, and inspect out her podcast here.

Other times, Ive required to the socials to passionately air my viewpoint on subjects near and dear, like shaming the regional news media for missing out on a triumphant story of international competitive success with my kids gymnastics team. Ends up, there was something printed after all, I simply didnt see it. So, lets include “impulsive” to the list of adjectives specifying me, and “one who doesnt always do her homework.”.

Ive also found that I am legit a wandering soul. I know this for sure, due to the fact that the travel embargo has actually created chaos with my natural tendency to strike the roadway. And I will no longer excuse this enthusiasm of mine. Yes, Im grateful for all the true blessings and appeal of my own yard, however you understand what? Im enabled to miss out on the broader world. Its part of what makes me me, and I will no longer water it down.

In the procedure of being ourselves, we let others see us for who we truly are. Ends up, Im an over-sharing, comfortable-with-vulnerability, sometimes dramatic, heart-on-sleeve gal, fraught with insecurities and rich in traits.

If I want to send a piece Ive composed and state how I actually feel, Im going to do that. Due to the fact that I can. If I wish to dive deep into my creativity to see where it leads, I will.

My point is this: Ive come to the conclusion that instead of recoiling every time I share something, or reveal how I really feel, Im going to welcome it. I am who I am, and if it makes you unpleasant, then you can move on. No tough feelings..

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And Im tired of it, quite honestly.

So, if we are fortunate enough to reside in a society where we can appear as ourselves so long as we arent hurting others, should not we be hurrying to do so? Isnt it our duty to communicate with people in a richer, more genuine, more emboldened method? Arent you tired of trying to be somebody else?

Now, if I do not seem like Zoom-zoom-zooming, Im more empowered to simply say it like it is. “You know what? Not feeling it today. Still enjoy you, however no. Ive got a date with Netflix and a bowl of Tostitos. Lets talk next weekend.”.

Due to the fact that I do not wish to be an actress. Contrary to the world we reside in, where every dish we consume, journey we take (alright, the ones we utilized to take), attire we assemble, animal we groom, its all up for display, but we display just the very best versions of our lives.

If we arent hurting anyone in our missions to truly be ourselves, why arent more people living this way? Maybe its since we presume that being ourselves simply doesnt cut the mustard. Weve been conditioned to believe we arent glossy enough, young enough, rich enough, educated enough, or notified enough to exist in todays performative world.

Or when I left my sixteen-year career in financing. I wrote a brief book for that Facebook status, thoroughly crafting the narrative in case anyone decided to judge me for starting fresh.

I eat method too numerous chips, talk openly about my hormonal agents and hairy legs, and appear to care deeply about the recognition of others. Its nice to meet you.

Let me break it down for you, due to the fact that I had a surprise that seems so on the nose, Im almost ashamed to discuss it. How could it not be more obvious?

The important things is, Ive decided completely to welcome my obvious not having it all together. See, I understand the reality– no one has everything together. The 2nd I accepted this universal tenet I ended up being much more comfortable just being me..

I delight in time to myself and typically find it challenging to give my energy to people outside my family. This is simply the fact.

Although much of my time as a monetary advisor was fulfilling, I typically felt stifled, required to behave as a version of myself that didnt line up. I needed to push the real Sam back inside myself. Keep a lid on her. Keep her quiet for compliance and reputational reasons. I preserved this through all of my thirties and half my forties till I almost broke.

We do not desire people to see behind the curtains … The filthy dishes scattered everywhere (check). We take terrific discomforts to guarantee that how we represent ourselves is appealing, excellent, and satisfying a requirement that says we have it all together.