When You Keep Failing: How to Recover and Boost Your Confidence

I was the Marketing Director of a tech startup, and my work wasnt generating the cash or traction that it should. I did whatever to enhance my outcomes: I learn more books, consulted mentors, changed my mindset and tactics, did more field research study and experiments, sought advice from much more books and coaches.

I will not go into specifics, as thats not what this article has to do with. Are enough to say that I did my best to learn from every book, coach, experiment, and mistake. And I carried out all the best practices. After months of fruitless efforts, the CEO lastly let me go. I didnt contest it. Even I wouldve resigned out of pity for my results.

And this is going to sound very biased, but I read almost every article that those search inquiries produced, and I executed almost all of their pointers. Nothing worked.

You attempted everything. Nothing worked. What now?

I went house, consumed some muesli with milk, and put my sensations on a post. It was the only form of self-comfort I could afford.

I was struck by the sobering truth that its really possible to regularly do your best, to work so damn tough, to put your soul into something, and stop working.

I keep in mind one night, after another day of sending out customer proposals, task applications, and going door-to-door to various stores in numerous communities to provide my services (and getting hurried out of each), I passed a group of college ladies using preppy summer gowns. They looked young, carefree, on top of the world. I was the precise opposite: bent, worried, beat, alone.

I returned to freelancing. After two months of declined or overlooked customer pitches, I upgraded my profile on job search sites. Four months later, I was broke and still unemployed. Another month and my landlady would kick me out.

“Success is a series of small wins.” ~ Unidentified.

At that point, Ive been losing and failing consistently for more than half a year. Ive searched things like, “How to repair a failed profession” or “How to rebound from failure” or “How to get back up when life kicks you the f ** k down.” With a lot of other variations.

When youre stuck and you feel like stopping working has become your “new normal,” how do you recover and get back up?

Small success arent empty words of encouragement. Theyre real. And they helped me believe that I can attain things once again.

In my case, the memory of that 12K victory was the initial step. I can get it someplace else if I could not get a little victory where I desired it.

But what if you cant get anything in the field you want? Like me, with my regularly turned down or overlooked client propositions and job applications?

On top of the climb, there is a cleaning. I reached the mountains peak and, listed below me, blades of tall, soft Tiger Grass danced with the breeze. The sun was rising. Rays of light glinted across the swaying field, rainbowlike. The wind blew. I gazed into the horizon and the word “accomplishment” flashed in my head.

How to Get Back Up After Continued Failure.

Ideally, you can acquire those little wins in the field youre pursuing. Lets say youre attempting to get big-brand clients for your company. If you achieved a couple of promising meetings, then its great.

Advise yourself what winning seems like.

Time passed and I ultimately forgot that memory as I got immersed in my work. However it resurfaced one night, as I consumed muesli with milk alone in the gloom of my house.

I ran a 12-kilometer mountain race as soon as. It was my first 12K run and my very first mountain race.

Throughout the very first 5 or so kilometers, I was wheezing and ready to quit. But as I kept going, I started to feel much better. My actions flew faster. And I completed the race amongst the leading twenty.

So you need to break out of that. And my experience taught me that the finest method to do this is to give yourself little triumphes.

See, you cant go to a job interview or a customer presentation sensation like a loser. It would show in your body language, vibe, and energy. Soon, youll stroll, talk, and think like a loser. When youre doing your best, even.

We all require to remind ourselves what winning feels like sometimes.

Every time I accomplished my objective, I was acquiring little success. Sure, accomplishing those triumphes didnt directly get me a customer or a task. It advised me of what it feels like to win.

There was a moment in the race where I ran an uphill climb. My lungs and legs felt excellent, and I kept overtaking other runners. Ultimately, I passed all other runners in sight and I was running the path alone.

1. When youre doing your finest, accept that its possible to stop working even.

Years later, as I looked back on my tech startup failure, I understood that there were external aspects I could not do much about; accessibility of certain innovations, governmental policy standards, the readiness of the target market, and so forth. It was also the first startup I worked with.

When all my attempts at the tech start-up, at getting clients or work failed, I began to seriously question myself. Perhaps all my concepts suck? Possibly what Im doing is all incorrect?

This was the biggest shocker to me. I always thought that if I did my best, I d get what I want.

I had to accept that, in some cases, we do not control whatever.

Yes, theres most likely something wrong with my state of mind, or how I performed things, or the kind of services I developed. And I required to change and change.

Thankfully, the piece I composed when I passed those college ladies in their preppy summer season dresses, was released by a nationwide paper. And several kind-hearted organization owners who read it gave me work (bless them permanently).

Also, I was able to defeat the important things that kept me from getting jobs or clients: My stubborn pride. Before the tech startup, I worked almost-exclusively with big-brand customers. I was young, ambitious, and making a lot of money. Why should I apply for anything less? I pitched only to the greatest clients and used only to the greatest paying jobs.

Maybe I have the Midas touch, however reversed; everything I dealt with developed into stone, not gold.

2. Attain little success where you can.

Whenever I release a full article, I feel great about myself. Sure, perhaps no one would read my posts or engage with them (aside from a couple of supportive buddies). However Ive accomplished my objective, and this little triumph keeps me going.

Ive worked on it almost every day, for two to four hours a day, in the previous seven months. I feel like a failure for not completing what I set out to do.

Bottom line: Achieve small wins from self-imposed goals that are simply for you and about you. No trying to win somebody elses approval.

Ideally, you can get those little wins in the field youre pursuing. Every time I accomplished my objective, I was gaining small triumphes. Bottom line: Achieve small wins from self-imposed goals that are simply for you and about you. Ive attained my goal, and this little success keeps me going.

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With that, I best regards motivate you to get small wins.

In this context, do not feed yourself feelings of triumph by winning versus others. First, its unsustainable. Second, it wont develop the self-confidence you need.

When youre intending for little success, aim to win against yourself, not other people.

So Im acquiring little victories on Medium. Ive started blogging this January, and Ive devoted to releasing a minimum of 2 articles a month while working on my unique and my customer work.

If youre reading this now, possibly youre in the exact same stage in life. With that, I all the best motivate you to acquire little wins. Start small and grow your victories from there. I really wish you all the finest. Keep strong! Victory!