10 Things to Do When You Feel Sad, Hopeless, and Defeated

None of that takes place. And I force myself to get to work and start a brand-new day.

I dont actually feel like doing anything, to be sincere, however lay in bed and cry. I go through severe waves of stress and anxiety throughout the day. They struck me quickly, hard, and without caution. I desire to throw up. I wish to snuggle in a ball and die. I want someone to tell me this is all a bad dream and tomorrow things will be back to regular.

I know what to expect. Every day I wake up I dont actually feel like getting to the computer system to work.

Ill confess, there were sometimes I desired everything to end. There were lots of days I just didnt know how much more I might handle. My current loss has actually devastated me beyond words. Everything Ive worked so hard for in the last 3 years has actually entirely been obliterated. Im numb and feel beat practically every day.

Im no complete stranger to sensation hopeless and defeated. After many stopped working relationships, physical, sexual and psychological abuse my entire life, 2 personal bankruptcies, and the current loss of my online organization (October 2020), you could state Ive been through enough to last two lifetimes.

“Rock bottom ended up being the strong foundation on which I reconstruct my life.” ~ J.K. Rowling

Your Struggles and Pain Are Real

Here are ten things to do when you are feeling beat, helpless, defenseless, and sad– all things that have assisted me, that I hope help you too.

Discomfort is discomfort, turmoil is mayhem. No matter what it looks like to you. Never ever let anyone inform you your sensations are ridiculous. Dont ever think that youre overreacting. What your feeling is real, and you need to honor your feelings, feel all the feels. Simply dont stay there. The longer you stay down, the more difficult it is to return up.

1. Cry your eyes out.

Crying is extremely therapeutic. Do it. As frequently as you need to. If you have to however get those tears out, sob and shriek into a pillow.

It is absolutely not, and its nearly obligatory to get those tears out. Go back to the last time you had a great cry fest and attempt to keep in mind how you felt later.

2. Call a pal.

I keep in mind the day my service crashed, and I was upset and so angry however likewise ashamed since I didnt desire anybody to understand what occurred to me which my company was gone. After a week I decided to call among my dear buddies, and not just was he great at reassuring me however also reassuring me that things were going to be alright. It was such a big relief to get this confirmation from a pal.

While this almost sounds too easy, many do not even think of doing this either because they do not desire to burden their good friends, or due to the fact that theyre too stuck on their issues to think about speaking about something else.

Select someone you definitely like speaking with and simply talk your adorable little face off. You can speak about your issue if you believe it will assist, or you can utilize this as an opportunity to get your mind off of things. Just talk!! About anything, whatever, ridiculous things and nothing.

Often we require to hear comforting words!

3. Volunteer.

Discover an organization that resonates with you and call them. Go invest an hour a week there. This will quickly become your pleased location and something you will eagerly anticipate weekly.

I tell everybody this. Go volunteer if youre unfortunate. Like today. You cant even imagine the power behind assisting somebody or something (aka furry animals) in need. Your heart fills and after that takes off, you cry happy tears, and it truthfully just provides you a lot happiness.

4. Write yourself a love letter.

Now before you state, “Oh, I dont enjoy anything about myself,” stop right there.

Go appearance in the mirror right now. I bet you have the most stunning eyes and the most sweet smile ever. Or perhaps you are a lively, determined person. Or possibly you have a heart of gold! I wager there are a million remarkable features of you. Find them and discuss them.

In this letter you inform yourself all the amazing and remarkable things about yourself. You note all the reasons you shouldnt feel like a loser.

You can continue about how incredibly incredible you are. Compose out all the important things you enjoy about yourself and all your radiant and redeeming qualities.

Ill be honest, I have not composed one in a while, however I think its time.

5. Place on some loud music and sing and dance.

Let loose and lose all your cares and concerns in your preferred music. Youre gon na feel remarkable, youll even get a little workout in, and your adrenaline will be pumped up a wee bit, so youll maybe even feel unstoppable! Go you!

Often when Im feeling down, I place on the saddest music with the hardest hitting lyrics, sing loud, sob my heart out, and incredibly later I feel a million times much better!!

Pick the loudest, thrashiest music you have (and love) and crank up the stereo. Or possibly you like nation or jazz or whatever!

6. Go for a walk.

Another easy thing to do that we typically overlook. For a number of us, when were feeling truly unfortunate, we dont wish to get dressed and head out. We desire to stay inside and cry and consume junk food (more on that later), however you cant remain there forever.

You need to obtain out of your dark place. You need to act steps (pardon the pun) to move forward and more than happy once again.

Get your shoes on and get outside. You never ever understand who youre going to run into or what kind of extremely cool things can happen to you.

7. Watch amusing motion pictures and consume junk food.

Find your fave movies– I usually choose for funny ones or incredibly action thrillers– and lose yourself in it. If just for 2 hours or so and let yourself indulge a little, forget your cares and troubles even.

We all understand consuming junk food is bad for us. Its a good quick fix on a truly sad day but not something you should do all the time.

Consume junk food, aka comfort food. And yes, I get that we might have a teeny sore stomach in the early morning, all depending on how much comfort food you took in the night in the past, but really, chocolate and donuts and chips and cake truly do the soul excellent.

8. Compose a reality letter.

This is where you get to compose out all your anger, all your hurt; every damn feeling you feel about this person/thing, get it all out! I know some individuals who have actually composed fact letters that were thirty pages long. You compose till you cant compose any longer!

This is something you can do each time you have mad or despiteful ideas about this individual or thing. Ultimately the thoughts will not show up so frequently.

Yes, I love composing letters. Its the very best therapy out there, I swear! Similar to a love letter to yourself, a reality letter is a letter you will write to someone or something that is causing you grief and sadness.

9. Set a timer.

Unfavorable ideas will arise outside of your time slot. You always have an option to let your ideas pass without getting captured up in your mental stories.

Yes, this is hard to do, but the benefit is that you are allowing yourself time to grieve without enabling your sorrow to totally consume you and control your days.

We currently know we cant remain in this sad dark place for too long, or it will consume us. After a couple of weeks of sensation like this set a timer for fifteen minutes, two times a day. In this time slot, feel mad, unfortunate, cry, scream, or do whatever else you need to do, but when the timer is up try to compose yourself and shift your attention elsewhere– on your work, a hobby, assisting a pal, anything aside from your own problems.

10. Have a me day.

Even if you cant take the entire day, try to take at least a couple of hours to treat yourself. Get a manicure or pedicure or do one on your own at house. Get your hair done, take yourself out on a date. Do something you take pleasure in, something that gets you into a state of flow.


Whatever it is that you do, do it in honor of yourself and how remarkable you are. Take this time to like yourself, as difficult as that might be, and just be present with you and only you.

Dont reject your emotions.

I believe the most crucial thing to bear in mind is that you need to honor and feel your feelings, but you cant stay there. Its important to take actions to get back to your normal, whatever that looks like for you, or to accept that its time to develop a brand-new regular.

As I go through my challenging time, I keep telling myself that this is temporary, Im gon na be okay, and to keep the faith. I think everything constantly exercises in the end, precisely the method its supposed to, whether we understand it or not, and this brings me convenience.

Infant actions are better than no actions at all. Do one or 2 little things every day and prior to you know it, youll be smiling and feeling better about yourself and life again.

You got this, babe!

See a typo or error? Please.
call us so we can repair it!

Iva is a retired hair stylist turned independent writer from Northern Ontario Canada living a life of flexibility, peace, and pleasure in warm Guatemala. Her two main objectives in life are to inspire individuals all over the world with her blogs and to feed hungry little tummies in the bad town she now calls house. She has a mini-series of self-help eBooks you can take a look at here or you can head over to her website for more inspiration and register to her weekly motivational and inspirational newsletters.

About Iva Ursano.

Every day I wake up I dont really feel like getting to the computer system to work.

Youre gon na feel fantastic, youll even get a little exercise in, and your adrenaline will be pumped up a wee bit, so youll possibly even feel unstoppable! For numerous of us, when were feeling actually sad, we dont want to get dressed and go out. Get your shoes on and get outside. This is where you get to compose out all your anger, all your hurt; every damn emotion you feel about this person/thing, get it all out!