“Self-pity is our worst opponent and if we yield to it, we can never do anything sensible in this world.” Helen Keller
How do you respond if something in your life doesnt go as you wish?
Well, in the beginning youll probably feel pain of some sort.
However what happens after that? What do you do after the preliminary discomfort?
Do you think about yourself as a victim, as someone with little or no control or power?
Do you slip back into a familiar headspace where you pity yourself and where you feel like someone– or the entire world– protests you?
So today I d like to share 3 steps that assists me to vacate that headspace and change it with something better.
Step 1: Recognize the advantages of the victim mentality.
I used to get stuck in that harmful and self-confidence sucking method of thinking rather frequently. And I understand that many individuals get stuck in it from time to time.
Or regularly than that.
The victim mindset can be pretty helpful in the brief term and for pleasure principle. A few benefits are:
In my experience, by simply understanding the benefits I can stem from victim believing it ends up being simpler to state no to that whenever such ideas begin to approach and to pick to take a different course.
In the short term it can seem like the easier choice to not take individual duty.
When you seem like a victim you tend to not take action. And so you do not need to run the risk of, for failure, circumstances or rejection.
Taking responsibility for your own life can be effort, you need to make difficult choices and it is just difficult from time to time.
You dont have to take risks.
When you feel like the victim and like somebody else is incorrect and you are right then that can result in satisfying sensations.
It makes you feel like youre.
Do not have to take the obligation.
The advantages above can be rather addictive.
Attention and recognition.
You can always get excellent feelings from other individuals as they are concerned about you and attempt to help you out.
Action 2: Ask yourself what the long-lasting effects of this will be.
But it might not last for that long as individuals get tired of it.
What will the long-lasting consequences of getting stuck in victim thinking be?
Be honest with yourself and get inspiration to change by seeing how destructively this will affect your life over the next 12 months and over the next 3 or 5 years.
How will it hold you back from doing the important things you deep down dream about in life?
How will it impact your crucial relationships?
How does it impact your relationship with yourself?
To not create a vacuum where all those thoughts about being a victim utilized to run around for hours upon hours you require to replace the unfavorable thought habits with something better.
Step 3: Replace the victim believing with something more useful.
Like for instance:
Rather, use thankfulness.
After that preliminary discomfort is gone– or smaller sized– you dont have to create more suffering on your own.
I in some cases do that by asking myself this question to zoom out on my scenario and to get a more level-headed viewpoint:
Does someone on earth have it worse than me today?
Its typically something like:.
After using a more grateful state of mind my mind likewise ends up being more open to getting a positive answer out of my next concern.
Take and discover action..
What is one thing I can gain from this scenario?
I follow that up with:.
What is one little action I can require to progress or out of this situation today?
By doing so youll feel more powerful once again. Youll create more happiness for the other individual and youll feel much better about your day too.
Help this individual out in some method by being kind, by listening or by doing something practically for instance.
I really like this quote about forgiveness from Catherine Ponder:.
You can do it simply for yourself. For your own well-being and flexibility.
Ask yourself: How can I offer worth to one person in my life today?.
” When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only method to dissolve that link and secure free.”.
You do not need to forgive even if it is something you “must do”.
You dont need to do it to be the better person either.
Release yourself from the pain and focus your limited energy and time on things that will make you better