120+ Anti Jokes for Friends (Fun, Silly, Hilarious)

You ought to share your favorite anti jokes with pals and household. Anti jokes are so silly they are really amusing. Here are some of the best anti jokes out there:

Here are some of the finest anti jokes with a funny (and unanticipated) punchline:

What do you call a joke that isnt amusing? A sentence.
What did one stranger state to the other? Absolutely nothing. They didnt understand each other.
Why did Katie burst her piggy bank? She lacked cash.
Whats the something in life you can really always count on? A calculator.
What did one ant state to the other ant? Absolutely nothing, ants interact by pheromones, not speech.
Do you know why I appear like I cant hear you? My earphones are on since I cant.
Someone took my state of mind ring. I dont know how I feel about that.
Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. Im telling you this now due to the fact that there was no social media in the 80s.
A patient told the surgeon he couldnt feel his legs. The surgeon responded, “I understand. I amputated your arms.”
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it … Then my unlawful logging business is a success.
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
Two muffins remain in an oven. One states to the other, “Dang, its hot in here.” The other replies, “Yeah, most likely like 350 degrees.”
How is a bar of soap the like your dreams? Theyre both incredible at escaping.
Why did the monkey and pancake batter share? They both enjoy bananas.
When I discovered out my toaster wasnt waterproof, I was shocked.
Who shaves at least 20 times a day? A barber.
Whats something you can do over and over once again and not remember a single thing? Consuming alcohol.
How do you puzzle someone? Paint yourself green and toss forks at them.
What did one Frenchman say to the other? I dont know, I do not speak French.
Why did Benjamin get ill after eating too much ice cream? He was lactose intolerant.

An anti joke for each type of funny bone:

Here are the very best anti jokes that will make everybody laugh:

How is a laser beam similar to a goldfish? Neither one can whistle.
I accused my other half of being too immature. Then he informed me to leave his fort.
How do you get somebody to stop swinging on the tire swing? Snip the rope.
What did the male say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?
Why did the swan hiss? Biologically, its coded in their genes to do so when threatened.
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible boating accident.
Why did Jordan stay at home from the celebration? He wasnt welcomed …
What did one female state to the other woman next to the coffee machine? Coffee looks good.
Do you understand why everyone is afraid to come to my house? Its haunted.
Why did the girl drop her ice cream cone? She tripped over a pit.
What makes you laugh more difficult than your own kid? A whoopie cushion.
You do not need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Do you wish to know what always makes me smile? Face muscles.
You know what they say? Words.
What did the raccoon state to the other raccoon? Does my breath smell like trash?
I broke my finger recently. On the other hand, Im all right.
Why do flamingos stand on one leg? , if they lifted up the other one they d fall over.
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What do you call a fish without any eyes? It doesnt even matter.
What do a banana and a helicopter have in typical? Neither of them is a law enforcement officer.
Whats the difference between a grape and a rabbit? Theyre both purple, except the rabbit isnt.

Random jokes that will make you laugh aloud:

Here are the very best anti jokes around:

When we were kids, we used to be scared of the dark. However when we matured, the electricity costs is what made us afraid of the light.
Knowing how to gather garbage wasnt hard. I just selected it up as I went along.
A horse strolls into a bar. A number of individuals get up and leave as they acknowledge the potential risk in the circumstance.
Find out indication language. Its very handy.
Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Do you wish to know my secret to sanity? Red wine.
What did he give her on Valentines Day? Something red and great deals of lies.
Why did the kid in the film theater get yelled at? He was talking.
Knock knock. Be available in!
Because sometimes I just require guidance, I talk to myself.
What did the fried rice state to the shrimp? Absolutely nothing. Rice cant talk.
How high is the Empire State Building? One Empire State Building tall.
Why do you never ever see elephants hiding behind trees? Theyre so proficient at it.
Whats best about living in Switzerland? Absolutely nothing, other than that the flag is a plus.
Have you ever observed that when geese fly in a V development, one line is constantly longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Since there are more geese because line.
Why did the therapist wipe away the T-Rexs tears? He could not reach his own face.
Why are pals a lot like snow? , if you pee on them they disappear.
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What do you call a quite female on the arm of an artist? A tattoo.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall … And a pretty great spring and summer season too.
Whats black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

The very best jokes on the web that are so bad theyre actually excellent:

Here are the most amusing anti jokes to make buddies think youre funny:

Bad jokes that will get everyone laughing.

Anti jokes that have a hilarious punchline:.

Why did the teacher tell Jamie she was wearing excessive makeup? Since she was wearing too much makeup.
I told my good friend she was drawing her eyebrows too expensive. She looked shocked.
Guess what I saw today. Everything I looked at.
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
Why did the mailman pass away? Since everybody passes away.
What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs state? T-Rexxie, babe, Im coming in for a hug.
What is brown, sticky, and often smelly? Mud.
What did Batman state to Robin prior to he entered into the Batmobile? “Robin, get in the Batmobile!”.
Take my partner now, please! We have run out of gas and shes late for work.
A man strolls into a bar … Then he gets a beverage and leaves.
What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Most likely still Santa Claus. He does not exist so it doesnt truly matter.
The number of apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Never trust an atom. They make up whatever.
What do you call a pigeon that cant find its method back house? A pigeon.
Whats even worse than discovering a worm in your apple? Being robbed.
Take your age and add 5 to it. Thats your age in 5 years.
Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
Im on a seafood diet plan … Its going to be truly tough for me– I lost a bet to a buddy, and the issue is I am a vegetarian.
Why cant dinosaurs laugh? Since theyre all dead.
What did one lawyer state to the other lawyer? “Were both legal representatives!”.

Funny anti jokes to impress buddies and family:.

Knock, knock. I wonder who is at the door. I hope they understand an excellent joke, considering that levity in important in this cruel life. You need to smile sometimes.
Whats irritating and white at breakfast? An avalanche.
What does a daddy joke seem like in space? As cringe as it sounds on earth.
What did the mosquito state to the other mosquito? This veins mine.
When is a father formally a dad? When his jokes no longer get laughs.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Chickens had not progressed yet.
What came initially, the chicken or the egg? Dinosaurs.
What do you call a talking turtle? A cartoon.
What do you call a vehicle wash that will not clean vehicles anymore? Broken.
What is the worst time to get a hairstyle? When you dont want a hairstyle.
How lots of Germans does it take to alter a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humor.

Here are the very best anti jokes:.

When did the astronaut who drifted away from the spaceship come back? Never ever. He drifts forever.
Wish to hear something that will make you smile? Your facial muscles.
What do you call a pencil sharpener that cant sharpen pencils? Broken.
What do you get when you blend a goat and a sheep? A geep.
What do you call a talking turtle? Fictional.
What ended after 1987? 1988.
What does one French Guy say to another French Guy? My name is also Guy.
Whats amusing about 5 people in a Chevy Suburban repeling a cliff? Nothing. They were my buddies.
You can pick your nose and you can choose your pals … But you cant rob a bank. Thats a felony.
Why is there no aspirin in the rainforest? Because it would not be economically viable to attempt and offer pharmaceuticals in the greatly unpopulated rainforest.

Did you fall from heaven? Since it appears like you arrived at your face.
How do you understand youre a real 90s kid? When you take a look at your birth certificate and it says you were born in between 1990 and 1999.
Do you know whats odd? Every other number.
Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
The length of time does it take you to count to 100? I do not care.
What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cant talk.
I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he bit the dust. He stated, “Hey, how far do you believe I can kick this container?”
Mary had a little lamb … The medical professional fainted.
Why cant Tommy the T-Rex clap? Since dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years.
Whats brown and sticky? A stick.
What did the plumbing say to the vocalist? Great pipelines.
What did the medical professional state to the other physician? Were both medical professionals!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt. Numbers arent sentient and are incapable of feeling worry.
I d never ever inform you a pizza joke. Its method too cheesy.
Whats orange and tastes like an orange? An orange.
My buddy states to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No it doesnt!”.
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
Whats green, red, orange, purple, blue, and yellow? Colors.
Parallel lines have a lot in common. Its an embarassment theyll never ever meet.
A horse walks into the bartender and a bar asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”.

Here are more amusing anti jokes:.

Here are the funniest anti jokes ever created:.

You should share your preferred anti jokes with good friends and household. Anti jokes are so foolish they are really funny. Here are some of the best anti jokes out there:

He wasnt welcomed …
What did one woman lady state the other woman female to the coffee machine? I hope they know a good joke, given that levity in crucial in this vicious life.