1. “You up?” No one sends this text unless they’re looking to hookup — and I would rather be in a serious relationship ninety-nine percent of the time. I would rather put my energy into talking to someone who genuinely wants to date me, who views me as more than a body, who wants me for more than a single night. If you want to sleep with me once and only once, at least put some effort into it. I’m open to casual sex — but not with someone who is going to put in the minimum amount of effort to get me into bed.
2. “Hey.” I don’t want to carry the entire conversation. I don’t want to come up with the topic. I don’t want to fight to keep you interested. If you’re going to text me, I would rather have you say something more substantial than hey. I’ll be happy that you were thinking of me and decided to reach out to me, but I won’t be able to tell what you want when you send a single word sentence. I need a little more than that to come up with a response.
3. “What are you wearing?” There are much better lines to use when sexting. This one is too much of a cliche. Besides, I’m probably not going to tell you the truth about what I’m wearing in the middle of the night. Instead of admitting I’m stuck in pajamas or old workout clothes, I’ll pretend to look better than I actually do. Honestly, if I decided to dress up that day, then you would’ve gotten a selfie already. I would’ve been showing off the look. If I’m not doing that, then I’m probably not dressed well.
4. “You’re acting crazy.” You might not understand my emotions. You might not like my emotions. But you don’t get to invalidate my emotions. I’m not going to waste time with you if you refuse to hear me out. I need someone who is going to take my concerns seriously, someone who encourages me to open up to them, someone who makes me feel seen.
5. “Are you free right now?” I’m not a fan of last minute plans. Every once in a while, it’s fun to do something spontaneous, but I won’t be happy if you’re physically incapable of making plans with me in advance. I don’t want to be your backup when the rest of your friends are busy. I don’t want to be te person you call when you’re bored and have nothing better to do. I want you to put in the effort to plan a date with me — and follow through.
6. No text at all. Ghosting me is going to annoy me. You won’t be able to walk back into my world in the future if you decide to drop off the face of the planet without warning. I’m going to remember that you left me hanging. I’m going to be bitter about it. I’m not going to give you another chance to hurt me.