Do you believe Adam and Eve (presuming they were the first romantically engaged people) had their share of communication problems? I bet they did. Ever given that we have begun engaging with each other, it has constantly been a tight rope walk in between “what we say” and “what we imply”.
This is as great a time as any in history to sort this mess out, especially with numerous forms of interactions going, we have actually never been more susceptible in the art of expression. I have actually been a communication consultant all my expert life, I have actually been keeping a keen eye on the fight of sexes.
Integrated with my individual experiences and observations, I have actually created a few essential concepts/ideas which can take your communication game to a next level.
Something which is supposed to be extremely basic and organic has become a bane in lots of a relationship. Women blame males for not understanding and males blame females for being puzzling. Stakes are highest and we are clueless!
Active Vs Passive
I think I understand whats going on in my buddys life without speaking to them for years. Because I get to see what they are up to on social media, I dont feel the need to reach out for a genuine link.
Already both sexes are having a hard time to make sense of each other, include to that, words which do not have emotion (no, emojis are not feelings) and tone is a recipe for relationship sabotage. Do not let technology widen the currently existing interaction gap.
Even if I do feel like reaching out, why go through the discomfort of talking when a chat can do. Its still in some way alright when it comes to routine relationships, but in a romantic relationship, passive form of interaction like chats, immediate messaging, etc. can do more harm than one can picture.
Words Vs Actions
Both are types of interaction. While actions can do without words, words are no good without actions.
If you have to err I would state err on the side of action, due to the fact that actions leave a much deeper effect. No matter how numerous times you reveal your love to somebody, if you are not going to show up for your dates on time, all expression is wasted.
They are typically used to accommodate lack of action in many cases since words are easy and dont cost anything at all. While having the ability to reveal yourself in words is definitely a present, simply make certain your actions cash the cheques your mouth composes.
Less is not More
Unless you are chronically and pathologically introverted, in which case I would highly recommend looking for help, do not be stingy in expressing what you feel. Since of the truth that you didnt do or say what you desired to at the right time, many of relationship fuck-ups are. If ever in doubt, now is better than later.
Romanticism has messed up our idea of love. We have been told time and again in all types of literature that lovers can check out each others minds. They complete each others thoughts and sentences. They simply get you. To me that sounds like an utterly dull universe. Its one thing to be feeling the exact same, but there needs to be an individual expression of the very same feeling. Thats what makes human formulas so amusing.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Be vocal about what you are feeling and all the incredible things that are going through your head in that space. Words can be a terrific add-on to your bed room video game, provide it a go.
Someone popular when stated, “women fall in love with what they hear and men fall in love with what they see”. What better place for both to come together than the bedroom. It is a great practice ground to sharpen the art of interaction. When the clothes come off and you both are similarly vulnerable, express yourself not just physically but verbally, too.
Fuck you too!
Failure to express discomfort/angst is likewise among the causes of physical abuse in relationships. Its when interaction ends but anger does not, the words turn into violence. Keep in mind if its worth it, its worth all of it or absolutely nothing.
If you think your partner cant handle you or vice versa when it comes to expression of angst, then there is no opportunity for that relationship to endure the test of time. You have to want to take the threat of losing it all to win all of it.
How we interact has a lot to do with the environments and conditioning we grew up in. If there was ever a time when you needed to reprogram yourself to be better at it, it is in the pursuit of love.
It is not a video game of averages. It is tough, very tough, to reveal your anger because the majority of the times we do not even understand if it is required. The danger of misunderstanding is undoubtedly extremely high, however still if it is within you then it must be expressed. It does not require to be as stark as the title of this paragraph, which is simply for dramatic functions.
Enough of expressing love, lets bring our focus to dispute, anger, disappointment and all other negative feelings. Its most hard to reveal negative emotions in front of your enjoyed ones. In time, that lack of expression turns caustic and lowers the best of love.
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Author: Rajiev Lal
While actions can do without words, words are no great without actions. Most of relationship fuck-ups are due to the fact that of the reality that you didnt do or state what you wanted to at the best time. Its when interaction ends but anger does not, the words turn into violence.
Do you think Adam and Eve (presuming they were the first romantically engaged human beings) had their share of interaction problems? Its still in some way alright when it comes to regular friendships, however in a romantic relationship, passive type of communication like chats, instantaneous messaging, etc. can do more harm than one can imagine.
I am a life coach based in New Delhi. If you want a uncomplicated and unbiased look at your love, life, relationships, speak to me at www.rajievlal.in